


I loved you first

by Fafanight



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, another fic about the beginning of Ziam while in the band, like in 2013, pinning, this time I place this a little later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-07-29 14:30:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7688062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fafanight/pseuds/Fafanight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn's been pining over Liam for a long time, being the best friend he could while Liam was dating Danielle. Until one night changes everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I loved you first

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Sabrina (larmes-de-pluie) for betaing this a while ago and for her constant support. I'm finally posting it!!! How about that Sab?

Ok, this is new. And Zayn doesn’t know what to think about it.

Here’s the thing. He and Liam have always been close inside the band. All 5 get along great and love each other to the moon and back. But they all have different kinds of relationship with each other. Zayn and Liam always had a special connection from the beginning of the competition because they have a lot in common : same tastes in music, love for comic books and superheroes, both quiet when the other three are so loud. They spent hours and hours talking and laughing and rehearsing just the two of them because they have the same work ethic. And they are each other’s confidant. When Liam was fighting with his girlfriend Danielle and finally broke up with her, Zayn’s the one he turned to. He always knows how to reassure Liam.

But Zayn slowly and surely fell in love with Liam. When he really thinks about it, though he can’t pinpoint the moment he realized the extent of his feelings for him, he knows deep down they were there all along. Since the day they met at McDonald’s. The thing is it’s really hard not to like Liam in the first place. He’s the kind of people who you feel immediately comfortable with, because he’s all sunshine and warmth. He’s so nice to everyone and genuinely caring. He’s friend with each member of their crew, knows a lot of details about them because he takes time to actually talk to them and ask them about their lives. He does so much for the fans too. And he’s rarely grumpy or mean to anyone. And when he is, he immediately regrets it and apologises. When he smiles, it’s like looking straight up to the sun, especially if his eyes crinkle. And his laugh… Zayn loves his laugh to bits.

He also loves everything about Liam as an artist. His voice of course, and the way he uses it. It’s so strong and steady. And he does wonders with his harmonies and ad libs. He writes great songs and plays instruments. They had on many occasions improvised acoustic covers, in their hotel or dressing rooms or on the bus. Zayn loves those moments, just the two of them. And his dance moves. God, he’s a real tease, with the way he sways his hips. There are blogs dedicated to his dancing. He’s mesmerizing and has no idea. He just enjoys dancing and being on stage and that’s what makes him so sexy.

So, all in all, Liam’s kinda perfect to Zayn : adorable, funny, nerdy just like him, talented, so respectful and strong but sexy as hell at the same time. So yeah, Zayn’s madly in love with him, and he feels totally screwed now. Because he came to terms with the fact that Liam would never love him back. Even after he broke up with his girlfriend. He’s just not into guys. And Zayn was kind of getting over him. Ok, maybe not exactly, but at least he was trying. He even started considering dating again. That Perrie girl from Little Mix gave him many hints. She seemed to be interested. Maybe he could give her a call. But lately, Liam’s been more cuddly than usual. Sure, they’re all pretty affectionate towards each other. But it always feels different with Liam. And these past few weeks more than ever. Liam was now all subtle touches, lingering gazes and smiles and Zayn feels completely lost as to what to do about it.

Just like tonight. They decided to go in a club cause they’re not performing. They’re gathered in a booth with drinks. Of course, Liam is leaning on Zayn’s side. But not only that. He’s pressed against him, his head on Zayn’s shoulder, his arm tangled with Zayn’s. He’s lazily tracing patterns in Zayn’s palm. And Zayn is kinda freaking out. His gaze meets Harry’s eyes, which seems to ask what’s happening and Zayn doesn’t know what to answer apart from half shrugging. And then Liam looks up to him.

“Think I’m gonna head back. Fancy coming along?”  
”Yeah. I’ll follow your lead.”

In the car, Liam’s back up against him, looking at the window but still not talking. And it makes Zayn uneasy.

“Are you ok?” Zayn asks, unsure.  
”Yeah, just a bit tired I guess.”

The silence isn’t as comfortable as usual. There’s a weird tension in the air.

In the elevator to their floor, they’re facing each other but Zayn doesn’t dare meet Liam’s gaze. When they reach their floor, Liam takes his hand and leads him to his room, without asking. Once he unlocked the door, Liam turns around to face him.

“Wanna come in?”  
”This late? What for?”

They had shared rooms and beds in multiple occasions since they were put in the band. But then again, it feels different tonight. And deep down, Zayn knows his question is stupid, because Liam’s behavior through the night made what he wanted pretty clear. But Zayn just wants him to say it out loud and make sure Liam really wants this. Let’s say a part of his brain still can’t believe they got to that point.

But instead of answering, Liam takes a step forward and kisses Zayn. Square on the mouth. Holy shit. For a moment, Zayn can’t react at all. His brain probably short-circuits and he loses any ability to form a coherent thought. Because damn, Liam is kissing him, in the middle of the hallway. And then, he regains composure and starts kissing him back. One of his hand palms Liam’s cheek and the other lands on his small back to pull him closer. What started as a simple pressure has turned a little filthier, all tongue and teeth and Zayn thinks he might get drunk of it all.

When they pull away for air, Liam has that grin Zayn loves so much.

"Will you come in now?”

Zayn won’t be told twice.

* * *

 

Liam stirs as Zayn’s putting his clothes back on and trying to sneak out. Shit.

“Zayn, what are you doing?”

It’s been fantastic, magical. And he’d rather keep the memory of this night intact than having it tained by the realization in the morning. He doesn’t want to see the look on Liam’s face when he figures out they shouldn’t have slept together but doesn’t know how to tell Zayn. He knows deep down maybe he should have pushed Liam away. Because being awkward around him is the last thing Zayn wants. He sure as hell doesn’t want to lose Liam’s friendship. But on the other hand, he’d rather have him like this, just once, than never. Getting to explore his body and connect with him like that has been incredible. He memorized every bits. The thing is, now that he knows how Liam tastes, how his skin feels under his own fingertips and his body against his own, how he sounds and looks like when he falls apart, Zayn’s not sure he can get over it. So he sighs, because he knows what’s to come. He feels totally screwed.

“Getting back to my room.”  
”Why? It’s 4 am.”  
”I…”  
”Are you sneaking out?” And fuck, he sounds hurt.  
”Look, I was just trying to avoid the awkwardness of tomorrow morning”  
”Why would it be awkward?”  
”Liam, come on. Don’t make me say it, please. It’s ok, I understand, all right?”  
”Umh, I feel like we need to clear the air here.”  
”No, we don’t, really. I get it. It was a mistake and it won’t happen again.”  
”Waouh, looks like you don’t know me that well after all.”  
”What….”  
”Listen. Was I drunk tonight?”

Zayn’s taken aback by the question. What the hell does that have to do with any of this?

“As a matter of fact, no you weren’t…”  
“Was I stoned?”  
”No.”  
”So why on earth would I regret what happened between us? Why would it be awkward in the morning?”  
”I don’t know,…” he almost snaps.

Zayn feels frustrated. He doesn’t know where the hell this is going.

“Look, I’m sorry. Maybe I should have told you this before we did anything. But I didn’t have sex with you because I felt lonely all of a sudden. Or because I needed a good shag. If so I would’ve hooked up with a total stranger and spare myself the complications. All right? I wanted to have sex with you and only you. Pure and simple.”  
”Ok, but why?” Zayn asks in disbelief. 

He still doesn’t get it cause Liam,… he’s not supposed to be into guys. At least, that’s what Zayn thought. Oh god, what if… No, he can’t be Liam’s gay experiment after he broke up with Danielle. No, he wouldn’t do that to Zayn. Right? That’s not who Liam is. 

“Why? Because,… oh shit, talking about a romantic declaration! Look, I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I… I’m sorry it took me so long to realize, I can be daft sometimes, but,… I kinda… fell in love with you?” 

That’s not what Zayn expected. Like, at all. So he has to make sure.

“You’re asking me? You’re not sure?”  
”No… I mean, yes, I’m sure. Oh god, is it as awful as it sounds?”

Zayn can’t take it anymore so he silences him with a hard kiss. He just can’t believe what happened and what Liam just said. He needs a distraction for a while. And his lips are the perfect go-to for now. But he ends up smiling against Liam’s lips.

“Why are you laughing, you twat?” Liam asks pouting.  
”You’re an idiot.”  
”I know, I sure am.”  
”No, I mean… I have loved you for as long as I can remember. I’ve been pinning for you since we met basically. But I never thought you could be into guys. Then you started dating Danielle so I tried my best to be a good friend, even though all I wanted to do was to tell you to dump her. But I didn’t want to lose you so I tried to respect your relationship. Then I was so relieved you finally broke up with her. But that didn’t mean that you would fall for me, right? So I kinda lost hope at some point…” 

He’s breathless when he’s done but Liam is right there.

”I’m so sorry. I’ve been confused as to where I stood towards you. I didn’t know I was into guys before you. When I realized I had feelings for you, I freaked out because you are my best mate and we’re in a band and literally the whole world is watching us. I didn’t want to screw this up for us because your friendship means so much to me. But then I thought fuck it. I needed to try. I want this. Do you want this too?”  
”Hell yeah.”  
”So we’re doing this? You and I? For real?”  
”Guess we are.”  
”Ok. Good. So now that we cleared this out, will you come back to bed and cuddle with me?”

* * *

Zayn is the first up, which is kind of a big deal cause he likes sleeping in usually. He watches Liam till he stirs.

“Morning.”  
”Morning. How long have you been watching me?”  
”A while.”  
”That’s creepy.”  
”I can’t help it. You’re so cute when you sleep. I couldn’t wake you.”

Zayn keeps staring at him, a smile stretching his lips.

“What?” Liam ends up asking after a while, though he knows what that smile means.  
”I… It’s just… I can’t believe it’s happening. You and me.”  
”It _is_ happening, babe. For real.”  
"Yeah? I thought about it a lot, you know, you and me. And… God, last night was magical.”  
”Sappy. But I agree. It was fantastic. I can’t believe we waited so long.”  
“I know. “

Zayn leans in and kisses Liam. He can’t believe he gets to do this now. He’s been wanting to since he woke up and laid eyes on Liam. A sight to behold, by the way. At first, he couldn’t believe it. He’d been hoping for this for so long. Then flashes of the night before came over him and he had to admit it really happened. He relunctantly pulls away from Liam. 

“I should get back to my room and have a shower. I’ll meet you here so we get downstairs together.”  
“Sounds good. Love you.”  
”Love you more.”  
”This is not a contest!” counters Liam while Zayn puts his clothes back on.  
”But if it was, I’d win for sure.”  
”You sappy twat.”  
”But you love it.” Zayn shouts closing the door behind him.  
”Maybe.” Liam whispers to himself.

* * *

When they get downstairs, the rest of the boys and many crew members are already there. They’re holding hands. So it’s the first thing people catch on. Louis is the first to speak.

“Wait, is this what I think it is? You guys got your shit together?”  
”Looks like it!” Zayn says grinning.  
”Thank fucking God!” Louis is fast to retort.  
“Fucking finally!” Niall adds.  
”Thank you for your support!” Liam says, giggling.  
”Come on, we’re joking” Harry tries to comfort.  
“We knew for a while”, Louis says smiling.”The real question was when you’d figure it out yourselves.”  
”Well, you could have told us and spared us the suffering!” Liam is outraged.  
”Where’s the fun in that?”  
”Fuck you Tommo” Zayn feigns to be mad.  
”You’re welcome.” Louis replies with a grin.  
”Look, don’t listen to Louis. We’re all happy for you” Harry steps in again.  
”We just couldn’t stand the sexual tension and the sad puppy eyes anymore” Niall offers.  
”Sorry for the annoyance. We didn’t realize” Liam says sheepishly.  
”Shut up, Payno” snaps Louis. Then more soflty. “Seriously, we’re happy for you guys.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments highly appreciated. Or you can come by my inbox on Tumblr. I'm soloziamwillbetheendofme. Hope you liked it xx


End file.
